There is Hope!
WRC client

I was addicted to pain pills and I thought there was no help for me out of there because I have major medical problems. Let me give you a little of my background: I have severe heart problems, breathing problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, hyperlipidemia, bleeding ulcers and major stomach and digestive problems. I was raised with an alcoholic father. I was sexually abused from the time I was two years old until the age of eight. I married early and had a baby right away. I was raped when I was a teenager by my husband’s brother, had my first heart attack in my mid-twenties. I was extremely overweight. Before I had by-pass surgery I weighed over four hundred and fifty pounds. Today I have lost three hundred ten pounds. After losing weight my husband decided to have an affair with a severely overweight woman. We divorced after twenty-one years of marriage. Due to my health problems, I can only work part time which make my finances very limited.

I have been on methadone maintenance for six months and I am having great success (in my opinion). I also think my counselor agrees. I have started getting my lower rate and I get take homes for two days each week. I am not having the drawbacks one would have from quitting opiates without aid and having all these medical conditions.

The doctor told me when I started treatment that due to my health and addiction, he believed I would be dead in less than three months if things did not change.

I won’t tell you that it’s been an easy process. In fact, I relapsed the very first week of treatment. I had started a new job that I just wasn’t cut out for. The stress the very first day brought out that old urge and I gave in. To my dismay I felt nothing. When you are on methadone maintenance it blocks the opiate receptors in your brain and you don’t get the high from opiates you once did. The only satisfaction I actually got was taking the pill. (I was also addicted to the ritual of taking a pill.) I, of course, had to give a urine the very next day so I failed it and it was my first one since beginning treatment.

Just three weeks into treatment I was doing laundry for my sister in law and while I was putting it away I found a drawer filled with the pills I was addicted to, but guess what! I didn’t take one or touch one or even have the desire to take one. However I let my sister in law know I had found them and I asked her if she would move them somewhere else just in case the urge came back. I immediately called my counselor and told her what had happened and she told me she was proud of me and to be honest, I was proud of me too.

Before methadone maintenance I would wake every morning ready to take a pill and while taking it, I would ask myself how long before I could take another. Pills were the only thing I thought about from waking until finally going to sleep at night.

When I finally realized and admitted I had a problem I was afraid to quit on my own because of my health. I was afraid I would shock my body and my heart would have another heart attack and die. I mean, after all I had already had twelve heart attacks. The doctor told me I quite possibly could have done that very thing.

A co-worker told me about the methadone clinic near my home, but all I thought about was hooray, a way to get drugs daily, legally and a lot cheaper than on the street.

Then came the tragedy. I lost everything, including my car, in a house fire. I had no insurance because it was such an old mobile home that was too old to insure. I had moved into the mobile home after my husband and I split up. I wound up living in a hotel with my son. We had no where else to go. Well, it took all of our money to pay for the hotel, so I had to get drug money by any means necessary.

After all these things I finally decided that I wanted help with my addiction. I looked through the phone book, asked friends and relatives, anything to try to get help but everyone refused me because of my health. I even tried to get into a homeless shelter and thought they would see how badly I needed help and they might help me get some. I went to the Emergency Room and told them I was going to kill myself because I thought they could help me get on the right track to getting help. They put me in the “suicide watch” room in the ER and after being there for three hours I had not seen a soul. I was so upset I started to walk out but the doors were locked and a nurse came by and opened it for me with no questions asked.

Fortunately another co-worker mentioned the methadone clinic to me again. This time I wanted help and thought it might be the way to go because it wouldn’t be “cold turkey” quitting the narcotics. I thought it might be better for me health wise than quitting “cold turkey”. I would also have to see a counselor and a physician. As soon as I could I made an appointment and went for my initial visit. That visit changed my life.

I get paid by the week so I chose to pay by the week for my treatment. That way, I would have no extra money to buy anything I shouldn’t and I wouldn’t run out of money and not be able to pay for my treatment later in the week.

I attend weekly group meetings, I talk with my counselor at least once a week and see her at least once a month, or more often if I think I need to or she thinks I need to. The dose I am on is not that high and clients and other people tell me I could get methadone cheaper on the street. That well may be the case but in reply I tell them I can’t get counseling or a doctor on the street and that methadone is not the only reason I come to the clinic. I come to get well and I feel I am on the right track Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that the cravings and the DTs weren’t near as bad as they would have been without methadone. The people at the clinic and my counselor give so much support that I think this is why this plan has helped me.

Things are getting better. I no longer live in a hotel and I have a car now. Things are slowly falling into place and right now I have no desire to take a pill. I believe things will continue to improve, it just takes time.

I would like to tell everyone that there is help out there and even if you have all these health problems as I do, and if you are addicted to drugs: There is Hope!

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